Commonly asked in group: How do I play with my newborn?
Caring for a newborn can be a crazy and all consuming experience. Many new moms look back on their days and wonder “what did I actually do today?” In reality, you probably changed MANY diapers and possibly many outfits as a result of spit up and poop explosions. You fed your baby MANY times, you spent time and effort getting your baby to sleep and maybe, interspersed between all of the above, you found a moment or two to brush your teeth, shower (not a long one) and hopefully put some food in your mouth. All of this falls under the category of “keeping your tiny human alive.” You might be wondering, however, when you aren’t troubleshooting the many things that come up with your baby throughout the day, how to I play with her?
Angelina Jolie once referred to her daughter Shiloh as a “blob” when she was a newborn. She wasn’t wrong. They don’t do a whole lot in the first few weeks to months. Your newborn doesn’t even smile at you—the most basic way to acknowledge that your baby recognizes who you are and how much work you are doing—for the first 6 to 8 weeks. 6 to 8 weeks! That is a long time to be giving and giving and not even getting the most basic response in return.
So say you do have a few moments of down time and you want to play with your baby, what does one do with a baby who doesn’t really interact back for the first several weeks? You may actually be wondering what you are supposed to do with the toys people have given you as baby gifts. You might be thinking, my baby can’t even hold onto that overpriced giraffe Sophie. Just wait, around 3 months, you may see that Sophie becomes a favorite, especially if your baby likes to put everything in her mouth. In fact, Sophie has a lot of research behind her creation. She stimulates all 5 of your baby’s senses. Another favorite is the NogginStik. The NogginStik stimulates you baby’s eyes and to encourage visual tracking. The base of if it makes a soft rattle sounds to pleasing the ears, and it has an easy to hold handle for mastering grasping and fun textures to engage the sense of touch. This is also a good one to use to help your baby be incentivized to roll by using it as a “lure.” These two are great first toys for your baby, but she probably won’t really respond them until about 3 months old.
The reality is that between feeding and sleeping, there isn’t necessarily a lot of time for newborns to do a lot of other things. One essential though is tummy time. Did I just hear you groan? I thought so. I know that tummy time can feel like a thankless chore. Your doctor may be telling you to do an hour each day. “AN HOUR?!” you are thinking. That can seem unreasonably long when your baby screams when placed on her belly. You may be wondering if it is really necessary. Sadly, it is. Due to the Back to Sleep campaign which advises parents to put their babies on their backs to sleep, babies then don’t spend enough time on their tummies in order to build up essential core strength. This has had a huge impact on babies’ core strength since the campaign began in 1994. So much so that the age range at which children walk moved from 15 months being the oldest to 18 months. The good news is that tummy time doesn’t have to happen all at once. It can be broken up into many little brief chunks throughout the day. It also doesn’t have to be done with your baby flat on the floor, screaming into a blanket. Here are several different ways that you can do tummy time that your baby may not hate so much.
Truthfully, your baby’s favorite sound is your voice. Whether this is just talking to your baby and narrating what you are doing or singing either favorite songs of yours, songs you remember from your childhood (you may need to look up the lyrics) or funny songs you make up, this is what your baby learns from. You don’t actually have to do a lot in order for your baby to learn from you. Many of us are used to being highly productive people in our pre-mom lives. We are accustomed to doing something at all times. Being home with a newborn is going to feel VERY different from what you are accustomed to and you may even find it boring. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s not the most stimulating of jobs, but it is an important one. It’s not your job to teach anything specific to your baby. It is your job to love, care for and get to know your baby. And I promise that you are best person for that job.
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